Ahh the work Christmas party!

The mere words conjure thoughts of too much alcohol, loud music, superficial conversations and lots of people, many of whom you hardly know. “What a great opportunity to get to know everyone better!” you try and tell yourself, but the reality is that for many of us, and particularly for those with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), the work Christmas party presents not only the opportunity to embarrass ourselves, but to be judged and to experience uncomfortable pauses and draw blanks in conversations with those we don’t know very well. Sounds like a blast, right? Wrong.

Social Anxiety Disorder is a form of anxiety that is characterised by a strong fear of social interaction or performance situations because of the potential for embarrassment or humiliation. According to a recent Australian survey of mental health, social anxiety affects 3.8% of males and 5.7% of females. Often, people with this type of social phobia feel the only way to cope with their feelings is to avoid social situations.

So what can you do to get a handle on your anxiety in the lead up to the office Christmas party? Here are some tips:

• Be glad you've made an appearance and use this as a positive reinforcer for future social events.
• Plan to stay only for a short time only, and don't apologise about leaving if that's what you would like to do.
• Pick a handful of people you feel comfortable talking to plan to arrive together / close to the same time.
• Pick a handful of people you would like to know better, and come armed with some general conversation topics. Try initiating a conversation with some of these people in a more casual setting (like the work lunch room) prior to the party, this will give you something to build on at the Christmas party. Being exposed – in a controlled way – to the situations that cause you anxiety may actually help you to overcome that anxiety. Some topics you could try include
  • Plans for Christmas holidays
  • Upcoming or dream travel destinations
  • Shows, movies, plays or concerts they enjoyed recently
  • Do they participate in any sports/music/craft/hobbies?
  • Cuisines, recipes or restaurants they enjoy most
  • Do they come from a big or small family, and what are some of their favourite childhood memories?
• Do not consume alcohol excessively. Alcohol is a disinhibitor of rational thought. Whilst this may seem like a great tool to use when you are feeling all caught up in your worry/fear often we can go too far leading to behaviour we later regret – a further source of embarrassment for the SAD sufferer.

Finally, don’t put yourself under pressure to go, particularly if your anxiety is elevated and you feel like you do not have appropriate coping strategies in place. Give yourself permission to say “no” and to accept you as you are at this place in time. There is always next year to work towards!